Day 35 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Helene Dunbar, Beth Hull, & Heather Cashman
Jun26

Day 35 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Helene Dunbar, Beth Hull, & Heather Cashman

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Co-Mentors Helene Dunbar and Beth Hull … Helene Dunbar is the author of THESE GENTLE WOUNDS (Flux, 2014), WHAT REMAINS (Flux, 2015) and BOOMERANG (coming from Sky Pony in 2018). Over the years, she’s worked as a drama critic, journalist, and marketing manager, and has written on topics as diverse as Irish music, court cases, theater, and Native American Indian tribes. She lives in Nashville with her husband and daughter and exists on a steady diet of readers’ tears. Represented by Lauren MacLeod at The Strothman Agency. Twitter | Website | Amazon Author Page In less than a second… … two of the things Cal Ryan cares most about–a promising baseball career and Lizzie, one of his best friends–are gone forever. In the hours that follow… …Cal’s damaged heart is replaced. But his life will never be the same. Everyone expects him to pick up the pieces and move on. But Lizzie is gone, and all that remains for Cal is an overwhelming sense that her death was his fault. And a voice in his head that just…won’t…stop. Cal thought he and his friends could overcome any obstacle. But grief might be the one exception. And that might take a lifetime to accept… GOODREADS | AMAZON | BARNES AND NOBLE | INDIEBOUND   Beth hull lives in northern California with her husband, two kids, and cat. She overuses parentheses and ampersands. She writes short stories and young adult novels. Twitter | Website         Helene and Beth’s Query Critique . . . AGE CATEGORY: Young Adult GENRE: Fantasy Amazing thatTthe first time I seeBrie saw New York, she wasn’t I am notamazed by the ciaos [chaos?] , but by the fact that she wasI am basically in at a buffet and I haved no desire to feed on anyone. [Just demonstrating, in this first sentence, the third person tone this should take throughout] We [who is “we?”] walked [switch...

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Day 35 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query and 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Monica M. Hoffman and Natasha Raulerson
Jun26

Day 35 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query and 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Monica M. Hoffman and Natasha Raulerson

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Monica M. Hoffman … Twitter | Website Monica M. Hoffman is a Young Adult Science Fiction and Fantasy author represented by Laurie McLean and Tricia Skinner of Fuse Literary. She is an active member of SCBWI, RWA, and the writing community. She dislikes getting up early, but a good cup of coffee can usually motivate her. She enjoys any movie/book (particularly fantasy and Sci-fi) that can make her cry, laugh, or gets her blood pumping from an adrenaline rush. She’s a Trekkie, Dr. Who, and Star Wars fanatic, and a PC gamer when she’s not writing or reading. You can find her tweets about all things YA lit & entertaining GIFs on Twitter (@mmhoffman14) and Facebook.     Monica’s Query Critique . . . AGE CATEGORY: Adult GENRE: Romantic Suspense Strength, at times, comes from odd places in unusual situations; the power of the addict pushing through to recovery, the cry of the mother in want of her child, or the ability to move forward when death rips the hope of a future from your grasp.  Lilly has seen [or experienced?] them all and is determined to rise. [Rise to what? I would define what she’s trying to overcome right off. At this point I’m not sure if she’s the one that has had to go through all of these issues. Reading this the first time, I felt the hook was missing. I would start off with your MC, Lilly. For example: Lilly (insert last name) found strength comes from odd places in unusual situations; an addict on the road to recovery, the cry of the mother in want of her child, or the ability to move forward when death rips hope of a future from your grasp.] Her child depends on it. [This makes me think she has experienced this. I would be very clear upfront...

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Pitch Wars 2016 Success Interview with Hema Penmetsa and her mentor, Holly Faur
Jun21

Pitch Wars 2016 Success Interview with Hema Penmetsa and her mentor, Holly Faur

  Our favorite part of hosting pitch contests around here is hearing about successes. Today we celebrate Hema Penmetsa and her Pitch Wars mentor Holly Faur! Hema recently signed with Jaida Temperly of New Leaf Literary and Media Inc., and we’re so over-the-moon excited for her. So please join me in congratulating Hema and Holly as they share with us their awesome Pitch Wars success story.     What was it about Holly that made you choose to send her a Pitch Wars application? The first time I read Holly’s wish list, I couldn’t believe my eyes—it was as though she was asking exactly for my novel. Then I researched her Twitter presence and author website, and like I mentioned in my previous Pitch Wars interview, I found that she was easygoing and had a wonderful sense of humor (two crucial qualities in someone with whom, with any luck, I’d be working closely for the next two months and hopefully developing a lasting friendship). So, Holly took the top spot on the list of my mentor choices (along with five other fabulous mentors who were also looking for themes like mine). As I began working with her, I realized that I couldn’t have chosen better, because Holly has this way of infusing you with self-confidence and a quiet purpose that helps you to keep moving forward. Holly, what was it about Hema’s BEYOND THE CARVED WALLS that hooked you? The query hooked me right away since it was filled with everything I wanted: places new to me, strong women, and diversity. Her pages proved she had an amazing sense of story and I was caught up with the MC on page one—and she hadn’t even tempted me with descriptions of Indian cuisine yet! But what I loved the most was the obvious care and respect in which she wrote about a difficult time in India. Tell us about the revision process for Pitch Wars? Holly first sent me an edit letter with suggestions of over-arching changes and structural improvements. After she line-edited half of my whopping 400-page book (so that I could carry over the edits through the rest of the book), she sent me a second edit letter with detailed suggestions that were specific to scenes and individual character arcs. Once we discussed (over emails and phone conversations) our mutual vision both for the big changes and smaller tweaks, every time I added a new scene or made huge alterations, I’d send her the word file (with track changes on) at the end of the day. She’d read the additions and suggest tightening them in places. I believe this micro-critiquing helped the process of final line...

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Day 32 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Destiny Cole, Austin Siegemund-Broka, and Emily Wibberley
Jun21

Day 32 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Destiny Cole, Austin Siegemund-Broka, and Emily Wibberley

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Destiny Cole Website | Twitter | Instagram Destiny Cole is a YA writer and digital marketer who loves books and words almost as much as she loves chips and salsa. Destiny is rep’d by Kirsten Carleton at Prospect Agency.   Destiny’s Query Critique . . . AGE CATEGORY: Adult GENRE: Urban Fantasy Dear (Agent): Cade Hightower is about to go to jail for a crime he didn’t commit—in other words, business as usual for a professional body switcher. For his best client and double his normal fee, he’s willing to take on the occasional illegal job like this, but mostly he tries manages to keep on the right side of his own moral line, no pranks, no lie detector tests, and no switching bodies without permission. But magic doesn’t just run in Cade’s blood. His Cade’s sister Daphne is an Arcanist, a practitioner of the art of injectable magic. She can give a politician a shot of Charisma or help a perpetually dieting starlet with a syringe-full of Will Power. Her clients are rich or powerful or both, and they count on Daphne’s discretion. Brother and sister haven’t lived together since Cade was twelve and Daphne was sixteen, when Daphne left home for her Arcanist training. That’s when their mom got sick, their dad disappeared, and Cade was left with only his uncle to rely on. He never told his sister how bad it was, and he’s been shielding Daphne from the truth—and resenting her ignorance—ever since. This whole paragraph lost me. It drags. We’re two paragraphs in and there’s no stakes or plot mentioned yet. When Daphne decides to repair their estrangement by moving in with Cade, he isn’t sure how long he can keep his bitterness hidden. At the same time, they discover that not all body switchers are as scrupulous as Cade. Someone’s using...

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Day 32 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Heather Cashman and Mae Respicio
Jun21

Day 32 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Heather Cashman and Mae Respicio

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Heather Cashman (that’s me ;))  Website | Twitter | Editorial Services With a Bachelor’s degree in Biochemistry, the lab reports always lacked the fantastical element Heather’s imagination demands. Hypotheses turned into taglines and novels that range from Epic Fantasy to Contemporary Speculative Fiction. Agent Intern. Managing Director of Pitch Wars, #PitMad, and Pitch Madness. Previously an editor for Cornerstones Literary Consultancy, Heather now freelance edits queries, synopses, pages, and full novels for middle grade, young adult, and select adult fiction. Member, SCBWI.   Heather’s Query Critique… Age Category: Adult Genre: Fiction The Legislature says women must breed and produce a viable fetus. The Legislature says parents must relinquish their children. The Legislature says violators will be executed. [This is a personal preference, as you will also find with agents. I’d put your hook and title paragraph up front. Not all agents want it that way, so this should really be personalized. But I like a strong hook, the logline, the one-line pitch about the heart of your novel, and then the specifics of the TITLE, wordcount, age category, genre, etc. That said, beginning a SF/F query with something unique about the world is an excellent idea. I’d dial it back a bit. In a world where the Legislature says women must breed and then relinquish their children or be executed, Julianna has promised to avenge her girlfriend’s brutal murder.] Allegiant on the surface, LGBTQ Julianna has done an almost perfect job of fooling the Legislature into thinking she’s loyal, even though they brutally murdered her girlfriend in front of her.   But she made a promise to her dead lover: she’d remain alive, stoic and tormented by her loss, and find some way to avenge her death. [Death is redundant. I’d remove. Also, the phrase, “Allegiant on the surface” tripped me up. I kept thinking it meant she was an...

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Day 31 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Derek Chivers and Caitlin Sinead
Jun20

Day 31 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Derek Chivers and Caitlin Sinead

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Derek Chivers Website | Facebook | Twitter  | Instagram | Tumblr DEREK CHIVERS was born and raised on Alaska’s Kenai Peninsula. He spent a wild childhood wandering through woods where winter winds drifted snow deeper than he was tall, and the midnight sun stretched summer days and stories to extremes. Now he shares his life’s adventures with his wife and daughters; he can still trek through tracts of trees tucked between snowcapped summits, or choose to lose himself instead between the covers of his favorite authors’ stories. An alumnus of the University of Alaska, Anchorage, Derek received a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature, wrote opinion for the campus newspaper The Northern Light, and was published several times in the annual undergraduate fiction showcase Understory. He is a founding member of Anchorage writing collective The Life Partners, and an infrequent contributor to their Tumblr, which features fresh fiction Mondays and Wednesdays. Derek’s creative nonfiction “Gunshots on Dogfish” took top prize in a statewide writing competition and was published in F Magazine. He is represented by Becky LeJeune of Bond Literary Agency.   Derek’s Query Critique . . . AGE CATEGORY: Adult GENRE: Contemporary Romance AGENT AGENCY Dear AGENT, After researching your agency website and the authors that you represent, I believe that my completed 75,000 word Contemporary Romance manuscript, Off String, would be a good fit for you. [Personally I would move this whole paragraph down into the body and lead with your hook.] Jane Thomas wasn’t planning on meeting the love of her life while covered in puke, but she’ll wear the stains with pride if it means spending the rest of her life with single dad, Nate. [While the vomit bit is unique and catchy, I don’t think this is your main conflict. A successful hook isn’t just catchy, but also provides a glimpse of the larger, overarching...

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Day 31 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Mike Grosso and Katrina Carrasco
Jun20

Day 31 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Mike Grosso and Katrina Carrasco

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Mike Grosso Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram Mike Grosso is a musician and a fifth-grade teacher who always keeps a guitar in his classroom. He writes books and records music at his home in Oak Park, Illinois, where he lives with his wife, son, and a drum set he plays much too loud. I AM DRUMS is his first novel, and its accompanying soundtrack, Songs for Sam(antha), is available through many digital music outlets and streaming services. I AM DRUMS by Mike Grosso . . . AMAZON | INDIEBOUND | BARNES & NOBLE | POWELL’S Sam knows she wants to be a drummer. But she doesn’t know how to afford a drum kit, or why budget cuts end her school’s music program, or why her parents argue so much, or even how to explain her dream to other people. But drums sound all the time in Sam’s head, and she’d do just about anything to play them out loud—even lie to her family if she has to. Will the cost of chasing her dream be too high? An exciting new voice in contemporary middle grade, Mike Grosso creates a determined heroine readers will identify with and cheer for. Mike’s Query Critique . . . AGE CATEGORY: MG GENRE: Adventure with Fantasy and Sci-Fi elements Twelve-year-old aspiring journalist Angela Xue has only one goal for her school trip to the North Pole: to find out the secret of Santa’s magic, write and publish something about it, and launch herself to internet-journalistic stardom. So what if it’s illegal for ordinary citizens to meddle with magic, and the last kid who messed with Santa, Jamie Rayner, got caught up in a social media flame war like no other and then mysteriously disappeared? [I am loving this fresh spin on Santa! Especially that he seems a bit...

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Pitch Wars Success Story with Jenny Rosen and her mentor, Kim Graff
Jun19

Pitch Wars Success Story with Jenny Rosen and her mentor, Kim Graff

  When our mentees land an agent or a publishing deal, it’s one of the highlights of being part of Pitch Wars. We’re so excited for Jenny Rosen and her mentor, Kim Graff. Jenny got an audiobook deal with Hachette Audio since being a mentee in Pitch Wars, and we couldn’t be happier for her! Please, help me in congratulating Jenny and Kim on their Pitch Wars Success! Jenny, what made you decide to send a Pitch Wars application to Kim? Kim’s love for dark and gritty storylines, complex characters, conflicted family dynamics, and unreliable narrators was right up my alley. I submitted to her immediately after I discovered her PW Mentor profile because I had a feeling that we’d work really well together if I was lucky enough to be her mentee. Kim, what about Jenny’s application made you choose her? I’m super into political thrillers and microtension is really important to me — Jenny’s PW manuscript really hit the sweet spot on both for me. There was great tension and voice, and it was a political YA thriller which you don’t see enough of these days.  Jenny, tell us about how your relationship has continued after Pitch Wars? Kim was incredibly supportive after Pitch Wars and encouraged me to continue querying. She read over a number of my revisions and recommended agents that I could submit to. When I ultimately decided to put querying THE RUNAWAYS on hold, she told me to focus my efforts on my second project (CHEATER, FAKER, TROUBLEMAKER) because she saw more mainstream commercial potential. Her belief in my writing ability propelled me forward in the years following Pitch Wars and is one of the reasons why I still keep pushing myself to improve. Kim, tell us about your experience during and after Pitch Wars with Jenny.  Jenny was great. She hit deadlines like a champ, and was always open to feedback which is REALLY important in Pitch Wars. Really. Important. If you can manage the deadlines of Pitch Wars, it can be really difficult — and no matter what was happening, Jenny managed with stars. Jenny, after Pitch Wars you got an audio book deal with Hachette Audio. Can you tell us about how that happened, the details about the offer? How did Hachette contact you? How did you respond? How did you celebrate? Anything! We love knowing it all. I’ve been a member of the Wattpad community since 2011, and after my YA Thriller THE RUNAWAYS, received over 2 million views, I was asked to be apart of the Wattpad Stars Program in 2014, which provides potential publication, film, and television opportunities to Wattpad’s...

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Day 30 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Ashley Hearn and Heidi Stallman
Jun19

Day 30 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Ashley Hearn and Heidi Stallman

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Ashley Hearn Twitter | Website Ashley Hearn is a Young Adult author and an Associate YA Editor at Page Street Publishing. In a previous life, she was a sports producer for The Badger Sports Report, the football and basketball coaches’ show for the University of Wisconsin. She is an addictive coffee drinker, a Gilmore Girls fanatic, and a proud Gryffindor. When she ferrets away enough gas money, she can be found scouring the Georgia and South Carolina Sea Islands for ruined plantations, folk magic, and a fresh story.       Ashley’s Query Critique… AGE CATEGORY: Adult GENRE: Fantasy Dear (Agent’s name): I noticed on your Manuscript Wish List that you are looking for an Adult Fantasy with diverse characters and a strong female protagonist. I would like to present my novel, SCION OF THE RING, for your consideration. [Excellent clear and succinct intro paragraph!] We Persevere. It was [Stay in present tense here—it is the family motto] Catina Greymist’s family motto, carved into every sword and shield [I’d end the sentence here. It packs more of a punch.] to remind her father’s men. [But] After she is mistaken for a thief and whisked [away] to a slave-fighting ring in the desert, we persevere becomes the mantra by which she survives. [This feels pretty coincidental, to me. The less random you can make this inciting incident seem, the less contrived your plot will feel. Does she do anything to insinuate she is a thief, or does she bare a resemblance to a wanted criminal? Are the people who capture her enemies of her family? I wouldn’t mind a little more detail here to smooth over the coincidence. Right now, it feels like her father’s men mistook her for a thief and sold her off. You don’t need much, just something like: “But after a rival family mistakes her for...

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PITCHWARS: SHOULD I OR SHOULDN’T I? by mentor, Michael Mammay
Jun15

PITCHWARS: SHOULD I OR SHOULDN’T I? by mentor, Michael Mammay

PITCHWARS: SHOULD I OR SHOULDN’T I? That’s the question, right? Should I, or shouldn’t I? Simple. Binary. Sometimes it’s easy. Like if the question is ‘Should I eat that last taco?’ Yes. Obviously. Do I want to go see the next movie that’s a reboot of a TV show with you? Absolutely not. But what about Pitch Wars? There it can get a little more complicated. Today I’m going to share a few of my thoughts that might help you work through your decision making period. I’m not going to spend time here telling you about all the great things Pitch Wars does. There are dozens of blog posts, tweets, book acknowledgements, and roving bands of barbarian writers who already lay out all the benefits. It’s good. Today I’m going to focus on if it’s right for YOU. Let’s start with the basics. Do you have a completed manuscript that you’ve edited and polished, and hopefully had a couple qualified people critique? Because that’s the prerequisite. Without that, you don’t need the rest of this post. But if you do, or if you can get there by the end of July, read on. Let me start by reading your mind. I’m going to take all the reasons you have in your head for not doing it, and talk through them. <cue eerie mind-reading music> 1. But my book isn’t good enough (I’m not good enough.) Do. Not. Self. Reject. If I could put that on repeat a dozen times, I would, but I feel like that would make for a boring post. Look…maybe your book *isn’t* good enough yet. But maybe it is. You are not a good judge of that. Here’s a conversation I had with a critique partner of mine last week. I had just sent her the sequel to my book that got me my agent. Nobody had read it yet but me. Her: This is great. Me: OMG! Her: What? You knew that when you sent it to me. Me: I really didn’t. I had no idea. Her: You’re an idiot. Okay. I’m paraphrasing. But the sentiment is real. And the thing is, we’re all idiots to some extent when it comes to our own writing. All. Of. Us. You can’t see the mistakes in your writing the way other people can. But you can’t see the magic, either. You’re too close. I felt so much relief when that reader (and a couple others) told me that it didn’t suck. Because I didn’t know. I was too close. Do. Not. Self. Reject. 2. It’s too embarrassing. I know you said don’t self reject, but if...

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CHEATER, FAKER, TROUBLEMAKER by Jenny Rosen . . . Release Day!
Jun14

CHEATER, FAKER, TROUBLEMAKER by Jenny Rosen . . . Release Day!

  TITLE: Cheater, Faker, Troublemaker AUTHOR: Jenny Rosen PUBLISHER: Hachette Audio (May 30, 2017) AUDIBLE | AMAZON | ITUNES | BANDCAMP   About the book . . . When it comes to losing her virginity, 17-year-old Alex has every intention of waiting for “the one”. Problem is, she’s attracted to trouble. After a traumatic breakup leaves her emotionally scarred and therapy pushes her past her breaking point, Alex departs from her New Jersey hometown to stay with her cousin, Caleigh, in LA, hoping to distance herself from boy trouble for the summer. Enter Elias King, 17-year-old SoCal whirlwind with a reputation for tearing through girls and leaving a string of broken hearts behind. Still reeling from a tragic accident that resulted in the death of his girlfriend, Elias relies on drugs, alcohol, and sex to drown his pain. When Alex and Elias unexpectedly find themselves sharing a room in Caleigh’s tiny apartment, their night-and-day personality differences set them on the warpath. But their undeniable mutual attraction brings about a simple bet that changes the game. Alex wagers she can keep him sober and one-night-stand free for the rest of the summer, while Elias bets he can steal her heart and seduce her in less than 30 days. If Elias loses, he has to spill the dark secret surrounding the death of his ex. If Alex fails, she has to reveal her virgin status to Elias. But she can’t just tell him – she’ll have to show him. Cheater. Faker. Troublemaker. is a dual POV young adult contemporary novel and is the first book in a series. CHEATER, FAKER, TROUBLEMAKER was released on May 30th is being sold digitally through major online retailers, including Bandcamp, iTunes, Audible.com, Barnes & Noble, Downpour, eStories, Audiobooks.com, Libro.fm, and others. Physical audiobook editions on CD will also be made available to libraries and on-demand.   About Jenny Rosen . . . Website | Wattpad | Twitter | Instagram Jenny Rosen is a UCLA English graduate and a Featured Author on Wattpad where her novels have amassed over 14 million hits and gained a following of over 24,000 readers. She began uploading her works on Wattpad in 2011, and since joining the community has signed onto the Wattpad Stars Program which led to the audiobook publication of her debut YA novel CHEATER, FAKER, TROUBLEMAKER by Hachette Book Group in 2017. Her works have been featured as apart of various marketing campaigns for major brands like Cadbury Chocolates, Soundcloud, Android, major network television shows on E!, TNT, and USA Network in addition to being used to promote film releases from Lionsgate Studios. She was a featured panelist at the Frankfurt Book Fair and the Wattpad London Convention in...

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Day 26 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Natasha Razi & Kelly Hopkins
Jun13

Day 26 (Part 2): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Natasha Razi & Kelly Hopkins

  Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor, Natasha Razi … Disability in Kidlit | Twitter It’s been half a year since Natasha Razi has stayed in the same country for longer than three weeks, so who knows where she is at the time you’re reading this. Probably somewhere with less vegetables than she wants there to be. When her health cooperates, she works as an environmental consultant. She spends the rest of her time writing fantasy novels, playing Broadway songs on endless repeat, and staying up way past her bedtime.   Natasha’s Query  Critique . . . AGE CATEGORY: Young Adult GENRE: Epic Fantasy Dear Pitch War Mentor: Thank you for this excellent Pitch Wars critique opportunity! [You’re welcome. ;)] Impulsive teenaged [I like that you start with a character trait; gives us a sense of her right away. For YA, I always recommend writing the character’s age rather than just identifying them as a teenager] Aunia always knew her dad was keeping secrets[,] but it wasn’t until the Bogeyman abducted him before she began to find out why. [I love the structure of status quo –> inciting incident –> what happens now, but the phrasing doesn’t quite make sense to me; maybe replace ‘before’ with ‘that?’ I also think “keeping secrets might be too vague — can you say anything more specific?] To rescue him, she’ll need help from her first crush, a pegasi flyer, in order to navigate through her deceased mother’s lands to the cloud-castle of Tatia located on the doorway of Faerie and win the means to a magical window — if, of course, it still exists. [This sentence is too long and contains way too much information. “To rescue him, Alia and her first crush must travel to the cloud-castle of Tatia to win a magic window — if, of course, it still exists.] [On another note, don’t include too...

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