Day 13 (Part 2) of the Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, E. Latimer & Kelly Siskind
May25

Day 13 (Part 2) of the Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, E. Latimer & Kelly Siskind

  Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor E. Latimer . . . Twitter | Website E. Latimer is a young adult fantasy writer and literary intern who was born and raised in Victoria, BC and recently moved to Vancouver. She`s had her work published in Chicken Soup For the Soul: Reboot Your Life, and most recently, the Imagines anthology, published by Simon and Schuster. In her spare time, she writes books, makes silly vlogs with the YA Word Nerds about writing and reads excessively. She`s also one of the hosts of the Wattpad4, a weekly twitter chat which features awesome guests like Lauren DeStefano, Leigh Bardugo and Victoria Aveyard. Her middle grade gothic fantasy, The Strange and Deadly Portraits of Bryony Gray is coming out from Tundra Books in Spring of 2018.   Frost by Erin Latimer … Megan Walker’s touch has turned to ice. She can’t stop the frost, and the consequences of her first kiss are horrifying. When her new powers attract attention, Megan finds herself caught up in an ancient war between Norse giants. One side fuelled by a mad queen’s obsession and an ancient prophecy about Ragnarök, the other by an age-old grudge. Both sides believe Megan to be something she’s not. Both sides will stop at nothing to have her. Fire or frost. It’s an impossible decision, but she’ll have to act soon, because the storm is coming. Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Book Depository E. Latimer’s Query  Critique . . . Dear Ms. Orr, I am excited that you are seeking middle grade historical fiction books, and am pleased to share with you my manuscript The Diary of Asser Levy. It is based on the little known, but very consequential, true story of the first group of Jewish refugees to arrive in America. In 1630, Holland conquers part of the Portuguese colony of Brazil. For almost 25 years, the town of...

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Day 13 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Michael Mammy, Léonie Kelsall, & Marty Mayberry
May25

Day 13 (Part 1): Pitch Wars Query & 1st Page Workshop with mentors, Michael Mammy, Léonie Kelsall, & Marty Mayberry

Welcome to our Query and 1st Page Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected writers to participate in our query and first page workshops. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a query or 500 word opening from our lucky winners. We’ll be posting four critiques per day (except weekends) through July 7. Our hope is that these samples will help shine up your query and first page and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. First up we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Michael Mammy. . . Twitter | Website Michael Mammy writes Science Fiction, and sometimes fantasy, usually revolving around military characters. A lot of the ideas that go into those books come from having served in the Army for quite some time. There will also probably be explosions. On the page, not necessarily in real life. He’s represented by Lisa Rodgers of JABberwocky Literary Agency. Michael’s Query  Critique . . . AGE CATEGORY: Adult GENRE: Psychological Suspense Like every other actress in Chicago, Kira Rascher is well aware of the rumors about Malcolm Mercer. But for the career-making chance to be the leading lady in his theater company’s next world premiere, she’s willing to put up with pretty much anything, including Mal’s bullshit. This is a great opening paragraph. It defines the character and really sets us into where the story starts. Love the voice in it, too. Kira figures she can handle the guy; after all, she’s worked with more than her fair share of creeps and tyrants over the years. Once rehearsals get underway, though, she realizes that nothing could have prepared her for Mal. There’s no mind game he won’t play to provoke the performance he wants, and whenever Kira thinks she’s winning, he changes the rules. He’s manipulative, mercurial, infuriating—and also the most thrilling scene partner she’s ever shared a stage with. Another great paragraph. It describes the conflict and tension between the two characters, and it really does a great job of showing us where the story is at. You could potentially add a line at the end that gives us a set-up – But when xxxx happens, she realizes yyyyy. It could go either way. The paragraph is good without it, but it might help further define the story. The closer they get to opening night, the more the lines start to...

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