PW #129: Adult Humorous Women’s Fiction (#ownvoices): MY NAME IS NOT JULIE
Manuscript Status: Finished
Mentor Names: Sarah Henning and Kellye Garrett
Mentee Name: Suzanne Park
Title: MY NAME IS NOT JULIE
Genre: Humorous Women’s Fiction (#ownvoices)
Word Count: 76,000
MASTER OF NONE meets BRIDGET JONES: Drowning in a never-ending onslaught of parental nagging, work catastrophes, and romantic blunders, unlucky-at-life Korean-American millennial Julia Jung is fed up and wants a do-over. Pronto. She moves on a whim to Seattle with no job, cash or friends, and must figure out how to navigate adulthood relying only on herself.
Only I could wind up with the nickname “Dog Shit Girl” after less than four months on the job. Amazing, right? That title was bestowed on me when I managed to have three (yes, three) canine feces incidents in one week.
It all started when I joined my ad agency’s charity sports team. I’m not an athlete by any means, although if there were ever an elliptical machine pedal-a-thon I could probably hold my own (at a low intensity and no incline). “Rah! Rah!” team spirit activities instinctively made me want to vomit all over the peppy people into that kind of shit. But the guy-girl ratio on the signup sheet for the charity sports thing was pretty damn good, and a lot of guys on my team were easy on the eyes.
The first activity of the day was softball, and when I stepped up to the plate, my team from Bates & Gray was tied with our opponents from a rival boutique agency. This didn’t bode well because my cumulative batting average for my entire lifespan was zero. The God’s honest truth was the last time I had ever attempted to hit anything with a bat was at a co-ed party in sixth grade. There was a piñata practically hemorrhaging candy, and I missed. Instead, I hit my sixth grade crush in the crotch with a clumsy, big swing. He probably can’t have children now because of me.
Sorry, Aiden Sweeney.