Day 12 (Part 2) of June Setting Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Kate Karyus Quinn
Jun16

Day 12 (Part 2) of June Setting Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Kate Karyus Quinn

Welcome to June’s Setting Workshop! From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected over thirty writers to participate. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a 500 word sample chosen by the writers from a place he or she felt needed help with setting. We hope that not only you’ll learn a little bit about setting that you can apply to your own writing, but that you’ll also be able to get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors and their editing styles. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. And now we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Kate Karyus Quinn Twitter | Website | Blog Kate Karyus Quinn is an avid reader and menthol chapstick addict. She has lived in California and Tennessee, but recently made the move back to her hometown of Buffalo, New York, with her husband and two children in tow. She promised them wonderful people, amazing food, and weather that would… build character. She is represented by Suzie Townsend of New Leaf Literary and is the author of ANOTHER LITTLE PIECE, (DON’T YOU) FORGET ABOUT ME, and DOWN WITH THE SHINE all from HarperTeen. Kate also offers paid critiques for authors looking to further polish their work. Find more information here: http://katekaryusquinn.blogspot.com/p/critique-services.html The 500 Word Critique . . . Young Adult Fantasy My head rests upon the cold stone, then nothing Okay so right here within the first sentence you are missing a huge opportunity for world building. You give the reader so little – her head is resting on a cold stone. Is it night? Is she sleeping? Is she sick or passed out? Dying? The “then nothing” is a little confusing here as well. It seems to refer to the cold stone which suggests that her head was resting upon the stone and then suddenly the stone isn’t there anymore. Is that the intention? What if instead you injected a little more voice with a setup more along the lines of: “Tonight my pillow is a cold hard stone and the dense black of the holy chamber (or wherever she is exactly) wraps around me like a blanket.” I wasn’t sure what I was waiting We’re not sure what she’s waiting for either! Give the reader a little more info! for a voice from heaven, a tap on the shoulder. I sighed; I lots of “I’s” here – might read smoother to cut this one straightened up and slowly opened my eyes. I am stunned the chamber is alight What is this chamber?...

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Help support Pitch Wars … donate and receive extra entries into the contest!
Jun16

Help support Pitch Wars … donate and receive extra entries into the contest!

Donate today! (You don’t need a Paypal account to donate. Just go to the bottom and you can use a credit card.) Over the past five years, Pitch Wars has changed many lives. Countless authors have been matched with agents and even gone on to book deals and successful careers. But most importantly, Pitch Wars has grown the writing community to connect author with author, creating an atmosphere of camaraderie as we go through all stages of revision and publishing. Behind the scenes, it takes a lot of work to coordinate the event each year. And as it continues to grow, so do the responsibilities required to make Pitch Wars possible. Like last year,  we will be accepting donations to go toward the administrative costs associated with running Pitch Wars. Everyone who enters Pitch Wars can submit four (4) free applications to the mentors of their choice. Those who donate $20 or more will receive two additional applications.* To claim your extra mentor applications, please keep your emailed receipt from Paypal as proof when uploading your entry during the submission window on August 3. All amounts are greatly appreciated. If you’re not entering Pitch Wars this year and the contest has benefited you in the past, please consider donating. *Please note: Pitch Wars is a contest where mentors choose mentees based on the entrants’ skills and is not based on chance. As Pitch Wars continues to grow and evolve, so will our processes each year to make sure the contest runs as smoothly as possible for all of you–because that is what Pitch Wars is all about. We are here to support our fellow authors at every stage of the process through mentoring, workshops, and community. Thank you for your continued support and involvement in Pitch Wars. We look forward to another successful season this year and for many more to come. That’s not all! Those who don’t make it into Pitch Wars this year, will be entered into a drawing for a chance to win one of many editing packages that include query, chapters, pages, and synopsis edits. Look for another post with details of what you can win next week. No donation (purchase) necessary. Right now here are the editors offering up services for the prizes …   (You don’t need a Paypal account to donate. Just go to the bottom and you can use a credit card.) Save Save Save Save Save Save Save Save Save Save...

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Day 12 of June Setting Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Holly Faur
Jun16

Day 12 of June Setting Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Holly Faur

Welcome to June’s Setting Workshop! From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected over thirty writers to participate. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a 500 word sample chosen by the writers from a place he or she felt needed help with setting. We hope that not only you’ll learn a little bit about setting that you can apply to your own writing, but that you’ll also be able to get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors and their editing styles. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. And now we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Holly Faur Twitter | Website Holly grew up traveling all over the western U.S. and Germany pretending each long car ride was by covered wagon. She now lives in her birth state of Michigan with her husband and four little ruffians where she writes modern historical fiction about wonderfully complicated people. She also reviews books for the Historical Novels Review, keeps a garden, and can’t live without her Wellie boots. Her heart belongs in England, so her boys have promised to take her one day. She is represented by Maria Vicente of P.S. Literary Agency. The 500 Word Critique . . . Adult Contemporary Romance   Traffic was sparse due to the viciousness of the storm, which continued to pelt the area. [Can you add a wee bit here—the buildings, rooftops, sidewalks, etc.] Julianne passed multiple accidents and cars pulled over. She scanned for Jokob’s red Jeep heading the other direction or in the median. Two hours later, [jumping two hours in the same opening paragraph removed me from the setting you began with. I think you can describe a little more about the mayhem and then have her pull up to camp—without a time stamp] she reached a scene of pure chaos at the camp entrance. [The name of the camp might pull us in faster.] The closed gate stretched across the road, with emergency vehicles and rescue crews everywhere. She pulled up to a police officer directing traffic out of the park. “I have to get in,” she yelled through pounding rain, punctuated by flashes of lightning and thunder. “No one’s allowed in,” he shouted through a wall of rain. [She just spoke “through rain” so I’d see what else you can use here to show us the craziness of it all.] “We’re still trying to rescue trapped campers. You can park over there and wait.” He motioned to an area away from the...

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