Day 10 (Part 2) of May’s Voice Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Brighton Walsh
May13

Day 10 (Part 2) of May’s Voice Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Brighton Walsh

Welcome to May’s Voice Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected over thirty writers to participate in the workshop. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a 500 word sample that the writer chose from his or her manuscript where he or she felt they needed help with their voice. Our hope that these samples will help you with your work and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors.We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. And now we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Brighton Walsh Brighton Walsh spent nearly a decade as a professional photographer before deciding to take her storytelling in a different direction and reconnect with her first love: writing. When she’s not pounding away at the keyboard, she’s probably either reading or shopping—maybe even both at once. She lives in the Midwest with her husband and two children, and, yes, she considers forty degrees to be hoodie weather. Her home is the setting for frequent dance parties, Lego battles, and more laughter than she thought possible. Website  |  Twitter  |  Instagram  |  FB reader group  |  Goodreads  |  Newsletter       Brighton’s 500 Word Critique . . . NA Horror When Evan looked up, it wasn’t his worn out face looking back at him; it was a scrawny ten-year-old. (I’m not sure where we are in the MS, but generally mirror scenes are frowned upon, especially in the beginning. Can you fit this information into the story in some other way?) His lip and nose were bleeding (Is this actually Evan or his mirror-image? Clarify). The blood turned pink as it mixed with water and swirled down the drain. Paralyzed, he watched as his younger self lifted his face into the steaming torrent of water. (This is very confusing. Can he see his past self in the mirror? I really have no idea what’s going on…) He could almost feel those cuts burning under the water as he touched his own lip. (Is his lip bleeding/cut? If not, specify here.) Young Evan started to cry silently, then he let sound leak out [protected by the blare of water.] (I get what you’re trying to say here, but the wording is a bit clunky. I also think you could do a lot with voice here with word choices—did he wail so loud not even the pounding of the shower could contain it?) He crumpled...

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Pitch Wars Success Story With Judy Roberts and Her Mentor Kate J. Foster
May13

Pitch Wars Success Story With Judy Roberts and Her Mentor Kate J. Foster

  The best part of the contests for us around here is when we hear about successes. Today we celebrate Judy Roberts and her Pitch Wars mentor Kate J. Foster! Judy signed with Sara Crowe of Harvey Klinger. We couldn’t be more thrilled for her. So without further ado, please meet Judy and Kate as they recap their Pitch Wars success story.   Judy, what made you decide to send a Pitch Wars application to Kate? I learned about Pitch Wars only three days before the entry deadline. I knew it was exactly what I needed, so I dropped everything and spent hours learning about the middle grade mentors. I made lists with stars and checkmarks, crossing off anyone with the slightest reason to reject my manuscript. Kate’s name stayed. She had a great bio filled with enthusiasm and her own list that ranged something like- “I’ll take a look” to “grabby hands.” I found three things on the list that fit with Delayed. Her book blurb on Amazon didn’t hurt either! Kate, what about Judy’s application made you choose her? Quite honestly, it was the only book I couldn’t stop reading, and actually sat up into the early hours desperate to get to the end. It had everything I love in mid-grade fiction; edge of my seat thrills, a colourful cast of characters and a dark and dangerous layer that ramped up my intrigue. I also knew immediately how, by working together, Judy and I could make it so much better. Judy, tell us about the revision period for Pitch Wars. I didn’t consider the fact that Kate and I are in very different time zones, so she had to wait something like ten hours for me to respond to her email saying she’d chosen to mentor me. When she sent me the first revision notes, I was thrilled because she completely understood my characters. I responded with my ideas and we agreed I should revise before she did the first line edits. After that I think she read it three more times. All of her suggestions were spot-on. She’s a rock star! Kate, tell us about your experience with mentoring Judy. When I first chose Judy’s entry and emailed her the good news (obviously after the announcement), I didn’t hear anything back for over a day! I remember panicking to the other mentors that maybe she’d changed her mind and didn’t want to be mentored by me after all! But thankfully Judy contacted me full of excitement and off we went. We brainstormed a few ideas, and then Judy just got straight to work, no messing around. She took on board all of my suggestions, and...

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Day 10 (Part 1) of May’s Voice Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Kendra Young
May13

Day 10 (Part 1) of May’s Voice Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentor Kendra Young

Welcome to May’s Voice Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected over thirty writers to participate in the workshop. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a 500 word sample that the writer chose from his or her manuscript where he or she felt they needed help with their voice. Our hope that these samples will help you with your work and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors.We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques. If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. And now we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Kendra Young Website  |  Twitter As a child, Kendra wrote her first books on construction paper and bound them together with ribbon, though she can’t remember even one of those early stories. Once a teen and young adult, she jokingly referred to herself as Queen of the First Five Chapters, as that’s where every story seemed to fizzle out. It wasn’t until she was in her mid-thirties, when her family relocated to the West Coast, that she got lost in libraries again and finally managed to type “The End.” Since finishing that first manuscript, Kendra hasn’t been able to stop new characters from talking to her. Her fascination with all things abnormal comes out in her writing, whether it’s steampunk freak shows, vampires, or ghosts – if it has fangs or goes bump in the night, she’s writing about it. Kendra now lives back in Chattanooga, Tennessee with her husband, Tim, who’s responsible for making her believe all her writing dreams will come true. Together they have two daughters, Savannah and Tabitha, who both enjoy art and writing as well. By day, Kendra teaches eighth grade Physical Science and U.S. History in an urban middle school where she shares her love of writing and dreaming “big dreams” with her students. And if that weren’t enough, Kendra is also pursuing her MFA in Creative Writing at Lindenwood University. Kendra is represented by Taylor Haggerty of Waxman Leavell Literary Agency. Kendra is also a proud member of Kick-Butt KidLit and the Pitch Wars Mentor Blog!   Kendra’s 500 Word Critique . . . MG Fantasy Adventure A man with wild, Einstein-like hair grabbed Ellis by the arm as he walked into the room. A bit of framing would be beneficial here. I was about three lines down when I stopped reading, because I didn’t know what the setting was, other than a room. “Quick, name the Three Laws of Thermodynamics.” “Huh?” I’m assuming...

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