Day 2 of May’s Voice Workshop with Pitch Wars mentor . . . Dionne McCulloch
May03

Day 2 of May’s Voice Workshop with Pitch Wars mentor . . . Dionne McCulloch

Welcome to May’s Voice Workshop with some of our amazing Pitch Wars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected over thirty writers to participate in the workshop. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a 500 word sample that the writer chose from his or her manuscript where he or she felt they needed help with their voice. Our hope that these samples will help you with your work and that you’ll get to know some of our wonderful Pitch Wars mentors. We appreciate our mentors for giving up their time to do the critiques.  If you have something encouraging to add, feel free to comment below. Please keep all comments tasteful. We will delete any inappropriate or hurtful ones. And now we have … Pitch Wars Mentor Dionne McCulloch Website  |  Twitter Dionne is the managing editor at Cornerstones US after freelancing as an editor in their UK office. She is a writer, working on her third book and represented by Writers House in NYC, a long- and short-list judge for the Bath and Caledonia novel awards, and a PitchWars 2014 and 2015 mentor. She previously wrote scripts for TV. She copyedited speeches for President Bill Clinton during his first term. Represented by Brianne Johnson of Writers House NYC.   Dionne’s 500 Word Critique . . . YA Contemporary Fantasy Why did I let my friends talk me into going to this party? Try to be more specific, creating a voice that reveals character, ie: Why am I sitting on the deck of the lacrosse captain’s house holding a strawberry wine cooler and pretending to like Green Day? “It’ll be fine, Zo,”Push this dialogue harder. All dialogue should reveal character through what is said, or what isn’t said. How does this tell us who Jenny really is? How about “Zo we have to be here. Everyone who’s anyone is here. Quit stressing,” Jenny says, nervously checking her hair for the millionth time. The words ‘millionth time’ is an example of voice. It is Zo’s perspective, and characterizes Zo as someone who doesn’t care so much about her hair. Jenny says. It’s times like these I remember why I put up with her yearning for popularity. This sentence doesn’t make sense. Omit. WHY does she put up with it? Reveal Zo’s feelings through how she responds to Jenny. Does she sigh and roll her eyes?  If it were up to me we’d be having a movie night or, at least, be at a less…lively party.’Less lively’ doesn’t say much. Be specific. If it were up to me we’d be watching Zoolander II on Netflix and eating caramel popcorn from the...

Read More
THE BFF BUCKETLIST by Dee Romito . . . Happy Release Day!
May03

THE BFF BUCKETLIST by Dee Romito . . . Happy Release Day!

Cover illustration by Annabelle Metayer TITLE: THE BFF BUCKET LIST AUTHOR: Dee Romito PUBLISHER: Aladdin/Simon & Schuster PUBLICATION DATE: May 3, 2016 Simon & Schuster  |  Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble  |  IndieBound  About the book . . . Ella and Skyler have been best friends since kindergarten—so close that people smoosh their names together like they’re the same person: EllaandSkyler. SkylerandElla. But Ella notices the little ways she and Skyler have been slowly drifting apart. And she’s determined to fix things with a fun project she’s sure will bring them closer together—The BFF Bucket List. Skyler is totally on board. The girls must complete each task on the list together: things like facing their fears, hosting a fancy dinner party, and the biggest of them all—speaking actual words to their respective crushes before the end of summer. But as new friends, epic opportunities, and super-cute boys enter the picture, the challenges on the list aren’t the only ones they face. And with each girl hiding a big secret that could threaten their entire friendship, will the list–and their BFF status–go bust? About the author . . . Dee Romito lives in her hometown of Buffalo, New York, where she and her family are steadily checking items off their own bucket list of adventures. You’re likely to find her at the local ice cream shop, writing at a café, or curled up on the couch with her cats. And while she does her best to be a grown-up most of the time, giggling with her BFFs is still one of her all-time favorite things. You can visit her website at DeeRomito.com. To join the fun and create your own bucket list, visit TheBFFBucketList.com! Connect with Dee . . . Website  |  Blog  |  Twitter  |  Facebook  | ...

Read More