Day Twenty-One of July’s First Page Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors… Lynnette Labelle
Jul28

Day Twenty-One of July’s First Page Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors… Lynnette Labelle

Welcome to July’s First Page Workshop with some of our past and present PitchWars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected many wonderful writers to participate in the workshop. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a first page for one lucky writer. The writers are anonymous. Follow along all month to view the first page critiques. We welcome comments and further suggestions, but please keep them kind and respectful. Here are the next two mentors and their critiques … Lynnette Labelle Website | Twitter | Facebook  Lynnette Labelle is a freelance editor, developmental/content editor, and copy editor with over thirteen years of experience. She’s the owner of Labelle’s Writing on the Wall, an editing and coaching service for writers. Lynnette’s clients range from new writers to New York Times and USA Today best-selling authors like Roni Loren, Rebecca Hamilton, and Cristin Harber. Lynnette works with writers seeking traditional publishing and indie authors. Lynnette specializes in substantive/developmental editing for romance (romantic suspense, paranormal romance, romantic thriller, contemporary romance, and romantic comedy), mystery, psychological thriller, suspense, horror, crime, paranormal/supernatural, fantasy, urban fantasy, dystopian, women’s fiction, NA, YA, and SOME science fiction (no aliens or futuristic stories). She also helps writers create hooky query letters and strong synopses, and she teaches several writing classes. Lynnette has a bachelor of education degree from the University of Manitoba, where she specialized in English and French. She excelled in Advanced Creative Writing in university and studied writing for children and teens through the Institute of Children’s Literature. She’s a member of the Editorial Freelancers Association, Romance Writers of America, and Savvy Authors. Lynette’s first page critique … When submitting to agents, editors, or contests, please use industry standard formatting. Times New Roman (or Courier, but I prefer TNR), size 12, 1” margins all around, ½” paragraph indents, and double-spaced text. No extra spaces between paragraphs and only one space between sentences. When editing for clients, I use Track Changes so that the majority of the comments are in the comment bubbles on the side and the changes are in the text. Much easier to follow. Unfortunately, the comment bubbles won’t post here, so I did what the other mentors did and placed the comments in the text. The dragon lay stretched out across a rock, Did the main character come across the dragon by accident? Is he startled to have found it here? Is he relieved to have found it? Had he been tracking it? Or did he look over and the dragon was there? its body brilliantly Avoid using adverbs. green in the sunlight that splashed Word choice? Can sunlight splash? through the leaves overhead....

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