Day Seventeen of July’s First Page Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors…Stefanie Wass & Holly Faur
Jul23

Day Seventeen of July’s First Page Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors…Stefanie Wass & Holly Faur

Welcome to July’s First Page Workshop with some of our past and present PitchWars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected many wonderful writers to participate in the workshop. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a first page for one lucky writer. The writers are anonymous. Follow along all month to view the first page critiques. We welcome comments and further suggestions, but please keep them kind and respectful. Here are the next two mentors and their critiques … Stefanie Wass Website | Twitter | Blog | Pinterest Stefanie Wass writes middle grade novels from her home in historic Hudson, Ohio. A member of SCBWI and finalist in the 2012 National Association of Elementary School Principals Book of the Year Contest, her nonfiction credits include the LA Times, Christian Science Monitor, Seattle Times, The Writer, Cleveland Magazine, Akron Beacon Journal, This I Believe, Cup of Comfort, and 15 Chicken Soup for the Soul anthologies. This will be Stefanie’s second year serving as a Pitch Wars mentor. Stefanie’s first page critique … T-Day Chapter 1 May 2, 2017 Callie, recorded playback If you’re asking me to go back to the beginning, it all started with his digging. After my Mom died, there was so much to do that we just watched Daddy and waited. We were still reeling from her cancer. No remission. No hopeful, cloud-parting skies. Daddy spent a month at home on bereavement leave and then he walked out to the back of our ten acres with a shovel and stayed there. My older brother, Davey, and I were worried, of course, but we were too busy with the laundry and cooking and bills and everything else we’d been doing since Mom got sick. When Daddy didn’t come inside the next morning, I took him a sandwich and a pitcher of sweet tea. I was just fourteen then, but I think now I should have said something. We should have asked him to stop. We should have asked for help. I think your readers will be more drawn into the story if you skip this backstory and start with Daddy digging in the backyard. The reader will wonder what he’s up to and will want to read on. Show Callie’s worry instead of telling us about it. Maybe she’s wearing Mom’s wedding rings…some sign that Mom isn’t around anymore. Instead of telling the reader that Mom died and Dad is acting strange, SHOW this. Get right into the action and open the novel with Dad digging holes in the yard. Daddy was sitting near the edge of a six by six pit and staring at a mound of dirt. White salt lines...

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