My baby’s all grown up and has a new title … or cover reveal take two!
Jul03

My baby’s all grown up and has a new title … or cover reveal take two!

  After finishing edits for LIBRARY JUMPERS, it became clear that the title no longer fit the story. My book read older than it had before. And each book that comes after book one, gets darker. It took me some time to get used to, I can’t lie (you’ll get the pun here soon), but I’m thrilled with the title. And this frees up my previous title to be used for the series title, so it’s not going away completely. With that said, here is the unveiling of the new title …     THIEF OF LIES, a Library Jumpers novel is available for pre-order now!     Pre-order...

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Day Three of July’s First Page Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors …Kendra Carpenter Young & Rachel Lynn Solomon
Jul03

Day Three of July’s First Page Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors …Kendra Carpenter Young & Rachel Lynn Solomon

Welcome to the July First Page Workshop with some of our past and present PitchWars mentors. From a Rafflecopter lottery drawing, we selected many wonderful writers to participate in the workshop. Each mentor has graciously critiqued a first page for one lucky writer. The writers are anonymous. Follow along all month to view the first page critiques. We welcome comments and further suggestions, but please keep them kind and respectful. Here are the next two mentors and their critiques … Rachel Lynn Solomon Website | Twitter  Rachel Lynn Solomon is a contemporary YA writer, educator, and tap dancer living in Seattle. She is represented by Molly Jaffa of Folio Literary Management. Rachel’s Critique… I pull another plump hornworm from a tomato plant in the garden and drop it in the cloth bag. [As far as first lines go, this one doesn’t hook me as much as it could. It’s a bit wordy and has quite a few prepositions (from, in, in). You could easily cut “in the garden,” but even then, I would still push for a snappier opening. What is the most interesting part of this scene you’re setting? Is this your MC’s job, rounding up dinner? It sounds like he enjoys it, but I can’t tell from this first sentence. Could you pump some more emotion into it?] Those are the juiciest ones. There must be about two pounds of them writhing around in the bottom of the bag. Dinner is going to be good tonight. Fried in some oil with a little salt and pepper. Delicious. My mouth waters. [This description does a nice job showing us that wherever we are—in the future, I assume—food is scarce enough that people are eating worms. I don’t know if this is the strongest opening paragraph, though. It doesn’t feel quite dynamic enough for me. I like your second paragraph much more!] The tomato plants in rows leading up to the north concrete wall are covered with them. The trick is to let them eat enough so they get big, but not too much so they destroy the plant. It’s all about balance. Controlling variables. [I love this paragraph. It has a great rhythm to it, and it also fleshes out your MC, who I assume has some kind of interest in botany/gardening/science. I wonder if there’s a way to open with this instead, with some kind of reflection on the hornworms? This is more interesting to me than your first paragraph because it shows us a lot about your MC in just a few sentences.] There’s a big hornworm deep inside a plant, gnawing on a leaf. I...

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