Query & 1st Page Workshop with Chimera Editing Services … Day 3
Jan19

Query & 1st Page Workshop with Chimera Editing Services … Day 3

  15 critiques for ’15! My wonderful critique partners have started a new freelance editing business and agreed to sponsor my January workshop. Jami Nord and K.T. Hanna have helped me spruce up my manuscripts and now they’re helping fifteen lucky and brave writers with theirs. The winners have already been picked. In the next few days, stop by and read Jami’s and Katie’s critiques and learn from their advice. Today we have our next two critiques up. We aren’t mentioning names or titles. It’s up to the writers if they want to reveal themselves. If you’re interested in hiring Chimera Editing Services, go visit the website to learn more about their reasonably priced services … Chimera Editing Services   Critique by Jami Nord…   Query: Dear (Agent), (Personalization goes here) When Raz walks into advanced algebra on the first day of senior year, she hasn’t a clue that the secrets she’s been keeping about her dysfunctional family and her escape plan are about to unravel before her eyes. It’s hate at first sight when she sees Logan, a bad boy from the other side of town, who accuses her of being a thief. On the surface, they couldn’t be more different: she’s a brain and he’s barely passing, he’s chased by every girl in school and she doesn’t even have a boyfriend, she’s half Italian and half Jewish and he’s multiracial. When she’s forced (How? Does she get caught doing something she shouldn’t? Or part of a class, like peer mediation?) to tutor him, she discovers he’s about to threaten everything she’s worked so hard for (Again, how? Be more specific). When Raz doesn’t fall for his superficial charm, Logan realizes that Raz really cares about him and isn’t afraid to break through the stereotypes and barriers that threaten to keep them apart. SECRETS (64,000 words) is a completed (Redundant. Please, everyone, don’t query incomplete novels. It wastes the agent’s time and your chances at that agent/agency. Don’t be that person.) contemporary young adult story (told in the alternating points of view) of two lonely teens who need a best friend to trust and love. Written in both Raz’s and Logan’s point of view, the novel presents a fresh teen perspective, portraying their thoughts, insecurities, hang-ups and urges, making it easy for any teen to identify with. Strong themes of acceptance, diversity, courage and independence are woven through the book, providing a powerful read that boldly faces the difficulties of mixed racial relationships. (This would do much better worked into the description of the plot. I don’t know enough about the plot here to spell it out, but...

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