Query & 1st Page Workshop with Chimera Editing Services … Day 2
Jan16

Query & 1st Page Workshop with Chimera Editing Services … Day 2

  15 critiques for ’15! My wonderful critique partners have started a new freelance editing business and agreed to sponsor my January workshop. Jami Nord and K.T. Hanna have helped me spruce up my manuscripts and now they’re helping fifteen lucky and brave writers with theirs. The winners have already been picked. In the next few days, stop by and read Jami’s and Katie’s critiques and learn from their advice. Today we have our next two critiques up. We aren’t mentioning names or titles. It’s up to the writers if they want to reveal themselves. If you’re interested in hiring Chimera Editing Services, go visit the website to learn more about their reasonably priced services … Chimera Editing Services   Critique by K.T. Hanna … Query: Stealing drugs from your grandparents is bad. Stealing fish-drugs from your grandparents’ aquarium while high and then vomiting into the sea lion pool is worse. For sixteen-year-old Laura Angela Sweetling, it was called Tuesday night. Note: Love this intro Four months later and fresh out of rehab, Laura knows she has some amends to make. Flowers will do, except her Her mom and grandparents have decided to agree on something for once: A summer of volunteering at the aquarium stretches before Laura with no way out. And there’s no way out. On her first day, an even bigger shock awaits: her mom is the newly employed Volunteer Supervisor. Nepotism, much? It’s practically a family reunion and Laura wishing wishes she drowned in the sea lion pool. While Laura she struggles to stay clean and repair her damaged familial relationships, an activist protest in the walrus exhibit makes her question everything she thought she knew about the aquarium. Laura must decide which current she’ll follow: the aquarium and its staff that feel like a second home, or the grisly truths she begins to uncover about captivity. New friends, a new crush, and summer school can’t distract Laura from the choice she has to make—one that could break up the Sweetling family forever. Gilmore Girls meets (other title), SWIMMINGLY is a 75,000 word YA contemporary novel. I was a volunteer at the New York Aquarium my junior year of high school. The experience was very important to me and lent itself perfectly to this story. [I would perhaps condense that line. EG: My experience at the New York Aquarium during high school was instrumental in writing this story] Thank you for your time and consideration. Note: I would almost suggest to make your second comparison title BlackFish – the Sea World Exposé as this touches on those subjects. First 250: Cloud nine has descended to...

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