Query & 1st Page Workshop with Chimera Editing Services … Day 1
Jan15

Query & 1st Page Workshop with Chimera Editing Services … Day 1

  15 critiques for ’15! My wonderful critique partners have started a new freelance editing business and agreed to sponsor my January workshop. Jami Nord and K.T. Hanna have helped me spruce up my manuscripts and now they’re helping fifteen lucky and brave writers with theirs. The winners have already been picked. In the next few days, stop by and read Jami’s and Katie’s critiques and learn from their advice. Today we have our first two critiques up. We aren’t mentioning names or titles. It’s up to the writers if they want to reveal themselves. Before we get started, it’s time to announce the winner of the query and first chapter critique giveaway from Chimera Editing Services. So here we go … the winner from Rafflecopter drawing is … Kim Cook! WOOT! Kim, please email me at brendadrakecontests@gmail.com for instructions on how to claim your prize. If you’re interested in hiring Chimera Editing Services, go visit the website to learn more about their reasonably priced services … Chimera Editing Services Critique by Jami Nord… Query: Dear (Agent), (Personalization goes here) My contemporary category romance, RESCUING RILEY, placed in The 2014 Maggies. The manuscript is complete at 56,000 words. Growing up, Riley Cooper (you don’t need to bold names) could only dream of being part of a close-knit family like his neighbors, the McBrides. Riley knows Meghan McBride has always had a crush on him(,) but she’s his friend’s younger sister and definitely off limits. Now a Marine and home between deployments, Riley runs into a grown up Meg and their chemistry sizzles. They spend the night together(,) but in the cold light of day, Riley realizes his mistake. He tells her to forget him and returns to Afghanistan where his life changes forever during an urban firefight. Meghan McBride (Unbold) has loved Riley Cooper her whole life. She tries to convince him her feelings are genuine but he returns her love letters unopened, including the one where she tells him of the consequences of their night together—a baby. Her pride won’t allow her to do more to track him down. She loves her dad(,) but feels he adopted her only out of a sense of responsibility. She doesn’t want that for her own daughter. The story opens f(F)ive years after their night together.(,) Riley is back, struggling to put the pieces of his life together. He agrees to do some contracting work on a home Mac McBride owns in rural Vermont to repay Mac for past kindnesses. Riley expects to find a house needing repairs. What he finds is Meg and her adorable chatterbox daughter, Fiona. Fiona may be...

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