July Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors … Catherine Scully & Veronica Bartles
Jul17

July Workshop with Pitch Wars Mentors … Catherine Scully & Veronica Bartles

Welcome to the July Query & 1st Page Workshop with some of our PitchWars mentors. We selected many wonderful writers from a drawing held in June to participate in the workshop. Each mentor has graciously critiqued either a query or first page for two writers. The writers are anonymous and the titles/genres are hidden. Follow along all month to view the critiques. We welcome comments and further suggestions, but please keep them kind and respectful. Here are the next two mentors and their critiques …   Catherine Scully Website | Twitter Catherine Scully is a strange creature, part writer and part illustrator, based out of Atlanta, Georgia. She writes and illustrates creepy Middle Grade and Young Adult stories and loves horror that focuses on history, ghosts, and strange books one should never open (but one opens anyway). She loves curling up with a good Neil Gaiman book and a cup of tea after banging the heck out of some drums. Don’t ask her about the way The Neverending Story really ends. You’ll end up talking with her for a good hour.   Catherine’s critiques …   Critique #33 – Query: Dear (agent): Some people call him an outlaw, and others call him a cowboy—but Seph only wants to be left alone. Every year he spends on the road, the farther his mind likes to wander (Why is this significant?), but the Wild is the only place Seph calls home. It’s the land that stretches between towns, filled with gangs who will sooner kill you than wave hello, where miles can turn into days. (Beautiful narrative, but it needs to get to the meat of the story found in the second paragraph or: “Some people call him an outlaw, others a cowboy – but Seph only wants to be left alone. But one morning, Seph wakes to find himself a prisoner and stared down by the most organized and clean-smelling gang he’s ever crossed called the Legion. Seph knows he won’t be able to escape this so-called army of soldiers who control the southern states, but….) But one morning, Seph wakes up and finds himself a prisoner. Chained to the ground and stared down by the most organized and clean smelling gang he’s ever crossed, he knows it won’t be easy to escape this time. They call themselves the Legion and they’re an army of so-called soldiers who control the southern states. (This is your real attention-grabber here. The agents can find the narrative in the work, but they want to know you can pitch in the query letter. The pitch focuses on setting up character of who and where...

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